it's personal.

i visited my family for the first time today since they were forced out of their house of about 10 years in cerritos. i was caught off guard when i entered what is now considered their "home" (which consists of a rented space in the back of another family's house). the new place is in Buena Park and is smaller than the size of my 2 bed/2 bath apartment. i didn't know what to say when i went in. my sisters told me numerous times over the phone how small it was but shit, it was depressing - i'm literally fighting back tears just blogging about it now.

i just kept thinking: how did it get like this? i couldn't help my reaction when i first saw the place and this is what probably led my mom to feel the need to defend their new living situation. as much as she was trying to persuade me however, i could see in her eyes that she knew the reality of it all. she looks like she's aged considerably since the last time i'd seen her and my dad's lost so much weight it's scary. both my sisters are wearing things that don't fit them (whether it be too big or too small) and a lot of their clothes have rips or holes in them. my family is driving around in a beat-up van (that my dad also uses for work) and i'm in the passenger side while my mom takes me to the korean market so she can prepare me a home made meal. i'm still thinking to myself: how did it get like this?

the whole situation just makes me realise how hard the economy has hit certain people and it breaks my heart to watch it hit my family as hard as it has. their whole lifestyle has changed, over half of their belongings have been thrown out during the move, and a family of 4 is sharing one bathroom.

it's so unbelievable and even now, after spending the whole day with them, i am still finding it hard to digest. i don't know what i should do.. so many options running through my mind. i feel like it's up to me to get them out of this situation - but how? *sigh.

be thankful, everyone. really count your blessings.. shit is going down out there.