Friday, July 30, 2010

warning: i am a damper today.


i've been on auto pilot all morning. i can't seem to get out of my head and i'm becoming overwhelmed with everything that is going on.

i'm leaving to boston and seattle in a couple of weeks and i can't stop thinking about it. it'll be my first time, in nearly 20 years, traveling by plane and i'm becoming very anxious. i can't help but worry about everything from the smallest details - what to take, what clothes to wear, flight/airport restrictions, luggage requirements - to the bigger details like meeting my sister for the first time - what if we don't get along? what if she doesn't like me? i become so engulfed with negative thoughts - what if my bags get lost? what if there are major flight delays? what if i run out of money? what if my plane crashes? it's horrible and it's the reason i haven't been able to sleep some nights.

i've also been worrying about school since it starts as soon as i return from my trip. money has been tight and between the bills, car payments, rent, textbooks, traveling expenses, and basic household necessities - it's been tough making ends meet. can i also add that living paycheck to paycheck really sucks?

i'm sure in the end, everything will work itself out but my mind refuses to settle on reassurance alone.

on a brighter note: the weekend is here. it'll be nice to sleep in and participate in activities that will help get my mind off things.

i apologize for putting a damper on your friday but thank you for hearing me out. i hope you guys have a great weekend, xo.

1 comment:

Jina H. said...

I'm sure you and your sister will get along. Don't think of everything at once girl. That will drive you crazy & even more anxious. Just try to slow down your thoughts & take a breather.

I can't believe you're meeting ur sis. Wow!!!!