frazzled friday.

i always arrive on campus early. i end work at 5:30 and in all my 2 years at IVC, my classes have started at 7. usually when i get to school, i eat my dinner (likely a sandwich) and catch up on some reading or homework. last night i had to purchase a few supplies at the bookstore and pick up some handouts from the admissions office so i did that before heading to class.

when i got to class at 6:30, i opened the door only to find a room full of students with class in session. i figured it was the class before mine so i waited outside until they were done. as time progressed, i noticed that i was the only one waiting outside of the classroom and that no one made the mistake i did by trying to go inside. by 6:54 i started freaking out because no one was filing out and again -- why was i the only one out here?!

panicked, i cracked the door open again and whispered to a student sitting nearby, "hey, is this psych 2?", to which he responded with a nod. CRAP! apparently class started at 6.

just then, the professor called for a break and i immediately rushed in to speak to him. he handed me the syllabus and even though he reassured me that i didn't miss much that first hour, i felt so ruffled.

i hated that i wasn't there when he went over the syllabus because as i studied it while the other students went on break, i felt like i was looking at a syllabus for the first time in my life. it may seem silly but you have to understand that i am the type of student who is always the first to arrive, pick the first seat (that i keep for the remainder of the semester), and who is always, always prepared. with that said, you can imagine how unsettling it felt to show up an hour late, settle for a seat way off to the side where i can't see a damn thing on the projector screen, and not be prepared with pencil in hand, eagar to begin class.

also, it doesn't help that this is the most important class i've taken thus far. it's an upper division psych class that will require a new approach of learning that i'm not accustomed to. it's intimidating and with everything that went on last night, i felt so threatened. but i'm hoping for a better next week - when i'll be the first one there, stealing a seat in the front of the class where i always sit. i'll be prepared, bright eyed and bushy tailed. and hopefully things will feel normal. and hopefully i'll be able to overcome the challange of this class.

.. and maybe, i'll admit, i overreacted a little. =)

on a different note, it's friday and i hope you all have an amazing weekend, xxxxoo