“If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy."

i was going to offer this question to my facebook friends this morning, "what does money mean to you?", but the more i thought about it, the more i began to direct the question to myself. i don't know what sparked this sudden curiosity but before i proposed the question to anyone else, i wanted to know what i thought about money. so, what does money mean to me?

my boss handed my w-2 to me yesterday. i looked at it and immediately noticed i made considerably less than i did the year prior. no doubt 2010 was a slow year for the company and so my commission definitely took a hurting. in addition to the tax increases and the increase in health insurance, i can't say i was surprised by how much money i made last year. on the other hand, 2010 was tough on me financially. surely it was not as difficult as some people i know (my parents, for example), but i found that i had to rearrange my finances, like settling for generic named brands and keeping luxury spending at a minimum.

it's funny what happens when you become an adult and start making money. i mean, real money, money that can sustain you. if you're like me, who started making this kind of money at a young age, you know that it becomes difficult to not rely on it. money turned my back on school and said, "school? you're making money, girl.. spend it and enjoy it! forget school!", and that's what i did. it's such a great feeling when you no longer have to rely on your parents for allowance, although my parents warned me after every paycheck to "save, save, save!". fast forward 6 years later and here i am, still stuck doing the same routine i did then. and for what? well.. for money, of course. to not do what i'm doing now scares me and thrills me at the same time. it scares me because i know that once i start to pursue my (real) career and put myself through a university and a masters program, the money i'm making, that sustains me, will be no more. health insurance is rarely, if ever, given to part time employees, so that, too, will be lost. needless to say, though, that it thrills me because i'll be able to do something i actually enjoy. i can exercise my skills and (here's where money comes in) potentially make more than i ever could make staying where i am now.

i'm convinced that there are two kinds of people in this world. those who pursue their dreams and hustle along the way, and those who live comfortably doing the same thing they've been doing for years, never reaching their full potential. (of course there are those who are able to live in both worlds, but they don't count :P) i don't want to say that one lifestyle is better than the other because for some people, there is no other choice than to do what they are doing and as long as they're happy, who's to say otherwise?

i'll conclude by answering the question: money is everything and nothing to me. i need it to sustain me, but i don't need it to make me full. as 2010 taught me, sometimes sacrifices need to be made, but that doesn't mean i need to sacrifice my happiness. i want to be the person who pursues her dreams, while hanging on to the comfortable life as long as i can. the uncertain future scares me, but i can't wait to find out what it has in store for me. it would be ideal to not need money, but it's also unrealistic. i just want to be content in knowing that i am following my heart and not the dollar.

so now it's my turn to ask you - what does money mean to you? i'm curious to know.

xo