"the key to change.. is to let go of fear."

after the long big bear weekend, all i wanted to do this past weekend was relax. i didn't want to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. surprisingly, i didn't have a lot of school work to catch up on so my wish for a do-nothing weekend was granted. z cooked breakfast saturday morning and we spent the rest of the day being lazy. a couple of friends joined us later in the evening to watch the fights but it still proved to be a worry-free day, especially since we ordered out and i didn't have to cook.

after running errands on sunday, we decided to take emi on a nice long walk - she had been dropping hints all weekend. the walk felt good, it was nice to clear my head and have a genuine, uninterrupted conversation with z. not to mention it was the perfect day - clear and sunny with a slight chill in the air and you could see the snow-capped saddleback mountains.

our lease is up in july and we're leaning towards moving. after being here for 3 years, the complex isn't what it used to be and we really want to settle in an area where we can begin our future. ideally we would love to buy some property and do away with renting, but it doesn't seem like something we can commit to right now (financially and emotionally). z mentioned a rent-to-buy option, but i'm not too familiar with the details that surround it, have any of you tried it? all i know is that our walk yesterday made me appreciate the area we're in now. a real estate broker once told me that of all the places he's lived, the best place to live is in orange county and that the best place to live in orange county is south orange county. i can see why.

the next few years will definitely be challenging and will prove to be one of the biggest turning points in my life. i'll be forced to make some serious decisions about school, work, housing, and myself. remember that new years resolution i made about letting go of the things i can't control? it's been tough, but i've been practicing it a lot. hopefully by the time all these changes consume me, i'll be a pro and instead of being overwhelmed, i'll be able to surrender myself to it. easier said than done? you bet'cha.

xoxo