there was a lot running through my mind when i heard those words. i was shocked at first, i wasn't expecting that at all. don't get me wrong, i knew that business was slow, but i honestly thought i was too valuable to the company to get the boot. obviously i thought wrong and it was definitely a slap in the face because the reality of it is it can happen to anyone. after the initial shock came a mixture of emotions. i was confused, upset, sad, angry... and somewhere in between, a little relieved.
i was surprised to find that jumping right back on the horse and finding another job did not initially come to mind. i had not been without a job for 10 years and i was raised to always be working. but i feel that over the past few years, something in me has changed... and just recently, the feeling has been overpowering. there would be days that i'd sit at my desk and aimlessly stare out the window for 5, maybe 10, minutes at a time, getting lost in my thoughts. i couldn't wait to take a lunch break because it meant i'd be able to get out of the office and know that i hadn't completely wasted my day there. more often than not, i'd ask myself why i was there and think about the million other things i could be doing.
so, maybe.. just maybe, this is a sign. maybe this is God's little push into the right direction because He knows i've not the courage, or faith to do it on my own. maybe it is my angel in disguise secretly urging me to face my crossroads and take the path i was destined for. the next couple of weeks are going to be used for great reflection and meditation. i need to really ask myself what my priorities are and how to accomplish them. most importantly, i need to keep a positive state of mind.. and simply let life take its toll.
i am so blessed that i have the support of my friends and family at this time. i've been receiving lots of kind words and wise advice - you guys are more than any unemployed gal could ever ask for and i won't ever forget it.
xo.
3 comments:
aww girl! it's pretty scary. I remember getting laid off before too. It's a harsh reality check. Anyone is dispensable...but i think this would be a great time for you tho. Even tho there may be worries here & there, i really think u need a break.
I hope everything works out for you.
*hug*
omg Tina, it is very strange how similar our situations are. I was relieved as well. A little scared, but slightly happy. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I felt as a weight was lifted. I wasn't sure how I was going to make things happen, luckily only my hours got cut, but I took it as a sign and blessing. I'm a firm believer in the Law of Attraction and of manifestation. I secretly wanted to have more time to myself. I felt like I was the most valuable employee and I was shocked that I was one of the ones chosen when there are many others who don't work nearly as hard as me. We can never understand the path that is laid out for us. I hope you find yours :)
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