reinventing.

i start summer school tomorrow. even though it's only one class, i've been dreading it. i have been truly spoiled the past few weeks with my schedule, so the thought of having to put my brain to use again creates a tinge of panic in me.

i know the plan here is for me to grab school by the horns and finally get it over with, but can i be honest? the thought of going back full time is kind of intimidating. it will change the pace of learning that i'm used to and i'm scared that that 4.0 GPA that i've been able to maintain will start to tumble. what really scares me is the writing class i'll need to take in Fall. i've been putting this class off this entire time and now i have to confront it. nothing alarms and frustrates me more than having to write a paper - i yell at it, argue with it, take breaks from it, and yes... i've even cried because of it. the funny thing is that i grew up loving to write. i wrote my first poem at 8 and my first story at 9. it used to be my only way out of the reality in which i lived, but now it's become a stranger and in times, an enemy.

needless to say, i worry about the stress that awaits me and that's my biggest problem. i anticipate way too much and i finally know that i create anxiety for myself. yoga has been helping me to feel the present and to be the present. it forces me to focus on the now and to let go of my need to control... because seriously? i'm worrying about the stress that i don't have now, but will have later - how does that make sense? how does that make life worth living?

i'm working on it.

what have you been working on lately?

oxo.