one down.

what a joyous occasion. i still can't believe that my good friends are now a married couple. i couldn't have seen this day just a year ago and now here we are. i'm starting to slowly accept what all this means: we're getting older.

i embrace the many more milestones that comes with age. cheers.

an answer.

a longtime friend of ours is getting married this saturday and you may recall from a few posts back that we have another wedding to attend in october. it seems like everywhere around me, people are getting married and having kids - a definite sign that we've reached that age of starting families and opening new chapters.

lately i've been asked by friends and family when z and i will be tying the knot and starting a family of our own. every conversation i have with my mom always ends up with her asking me when she can expect a grandchild (she doesn't even ask about marriage anymore) and i always reassure her that she has 2 other daughters who will bear her grandchildren in due time. of course she doesn't count my sisters because they're way too young to even start having relationships, but i don't know what else to tell her. she had me at the young age of 18 and now that i'm approaching 28, she feels as though i'm "running out of time." it's not just her, either, because society tells us so all the time. they say that having a baby after the age of 30 will increase the health risks of both the mom and the baby and that it becomes more challenging to bear children after the age of 35.

well, times have certainly changed. i can't make it any clearer than i am in no position to have children at this time in my life. as you all know, i had a late start with school and will have an even later start in pursuing a lifelong career. not only that, but i can't justify raising a child in an apartment because it's such a temporary living situation (we won't even get another dog until we have a yard). on the other hand, it's so hard for our generation to save up to buy a house these days and that brings me to my other point: this recession. children are such a huge liability and i simply can't afford to raise one right now. am i being too logical about all this?

it's not to say that i don't feel the pressure because at times, i must admit i do, especially when there are friends around you taking that "next step." but at the end of the day, i can't help but think that i am making the right choice. as for marriage... i don't know how i feel about it. z and i have been together for close to 6 years and some can argue that it's like we're practically married anyway, but i've also heard that marriage does change couples, even when you've been cohabiting. i grew up with my mom hopping from one unstable marriage/relationship to another and feel that it might be a good indication as to why i'm skeptical about the concept of marriage, but even today i feel as though married couples don't take their vows seriously enough to stay with one another 'til death does them part - something i take to heart. i used to joke around when someone would ask me why i didn't want to get married by responding, "because i don't want to get a divorce." in part, it's true, but i think the other half of me is honestly content with the way my life is now. is that so bad? because i can't help but to think that society says i'm running out of time, that if i don't take that next step now, the opportunity will pass me by.

i don't know what to say to those people who feel that way because if there's anything i've learned in my life, it's that it is never too late. i live and stand by this statement everyday. i face it and embrace it because it's true. you can never let anyone tell you that your time has passed because the only one who can determine that is you. xoxo.

engagement season.

no, i'm not engaged. but i am so very, very overjoyed to congratulate two of my good friends on their engagements! this is such an exciting time and i am beyond happy that i get to watch the people i love get married and start their families. who knew all of this would come so soon? i feel so giddy! it's going to be a crazy year since BOTH their weddings are in the Fall (all the more reason to love the season) and just 2 weeks apart. is it loony of me to already be thinking about what to wear? guess i know what i'll be doing this weekend...

by the way, it's going to be in the 80s here :)

xxxx.

the walk, the birthday, and the exhaustion.

the first picture was taken during the hike last weekend. i forgot i had taken pictures! and unfortunately we didn't make the hiking trip yesterday, which was somewhat of a relief because we had such a long day on saturday. the walk for MS had us up at 6am and out the door by 7. it turned out to be a great event! z and i were both a little surprised to see how many people brought their dogs. as you can imagine, emi was overly excited and we had to restrain her from running all over the place while at the same time looking enviously at the other people with calm and obedient dogs. on the other hand, emi is really mild mannered when it comes to confrontations - she never barks and just looks on in confusion when being barked at so at least we had that going for us.

she met another bully friend (pictured above) named Diesel. he had the biggest crush on emi and kept wanting to be next to her. she also met a pig named Hamlet (also pictured above) - how unusual and funny is it to find a pig at a Walk? needless to say, he received a lot of attention with people constantly wanting to take pictures with or of him and because emi was close by, she also received lots of attention.

we walked about 2 miles around the UC Irvine campus, which was a bonus for me because i'll be transferring there next year. i was impressed with the architecture of the buildings and the size of the campus. it made me even more excited about transferring. it also made me think about the future and what it has in store for me. i always go into a daze when i think about what's to come, so to actually be on the campus that i'll be frequenting in a couple of years put me deep into thought. i won't go into detail because it's too complicated and too personal to put into words, but let's just say that i believe i was meant to do that walk on saturday morning and i'm glad i did.

when we finally made it home, we crashed. all 3 of us took a long nap and it was emi who woke up first, begging to be let out because of all the water she consumed. it's a good thing she pestered us because we could have slept well into the night and that couldn't happen because we had a surprise birthday dinner to attend. if you haven't already guessed it, the last picture is of the birthday boy who will be turning 28 tomorrow. dennis has been a long time friend of ours and it was our great pleasure to see the look of defeat on his face when he saw what his girlfriend had been planning. it was a great celebration that turned into a roast since everyone just made fun of him the whole night (and actually, they always do), but it just goes to show what a great sense of humor he has and what a great friend he is.

as is always the case, the weekend was way too short but i guess that just means i had a great one. hope you did too.

xxxxxo.

walking for a cause.

happy friday, guys.

just wanted you all to know that we'll be walking for Multiple Sclerosis in Irvine tomorrow. a friend of ours is suffering from this disease and unfortunately there is no cure for it. for those who aren't aware of what it is, here is a little something from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov:

"MS is caused by damage to the myelin sheath, the protective covering that surrounds nerve cells. When this nerve covering is damaged, nerve impulses are slowed down or stopped.

The nerve damage is caused by inflammation. Inflammation occurs when the body's own immune cells attack the nervous system. Repeated episodes of inflammation can occur along any area of the brain, optic nerve, and spinal cord."

it breaks my heart knowing what she is going through, but she makes it easier by being brave and positive. it's people like her who truly humble me and make me appreciate life. it might be too late to sponsor us, but you can always make a donation by visiting the National MS Society (our team name is "I'm still standing" if you want to contribute a gift on her behalf). also, this walk is only one of many (she's actually going to be doing the walk in Carlsbad on May 1st) so feel free to register!

also in the loop for this weekend is a friend's surprise birthday tomorrow night and a possible hiking trip on sunday. in other words, it's going to be a busy one but i'm looking forward to it.

wishing you all one just as great!

xxxx.

pt. 3

i had been meaning to visit the huntington library but never could find the time to make the 1.5 trip there. z had never gone and so i thought nothing would be grander than spending my birthday there and i was so right. the weather was warm, the flowers were in full bloom, and the beautiful colors vibrated as to wish me a happy birthday.

i invited my friend jess and her boyfriend, paul and they arrived bearing gifts! i am so in love with the owl "quirkeys" key covers and as jess pointed out, i can hand them out to my friends as well! she also gave me a super cute owl oven mit - i'm figuring at this rate, my owl collection will be complete in no time.

we ended the night in old town pasadena enjoying good food and drinks. my birthday isn't until tomorrow but the birthday love has been all around me. i love it.

xo.

owl love birthdays..

isn't this beyond adorable? susan has always had a creative way with cards. i have to say, this one may be my favorite.

thank you for everything, GA.

oxox

and so it begins.

wanna know what i did over the weekend?

i was spoiled to my core! z sent me off to get my hair done saturday morning and then i spent a wonderful evening with my korean beauties. together we relived our past, had drinks, and munched on delicious food. i smiled the whole way back from our rendezvous because i was reminded how blessed i am to have such great friends in my life. it was an intimate and beautiful way to start off my 27th year - i wouldn't have had it any other way.

thank you ladies,

xoxox

a pleasurable weekend.

it's been a while since i've been out with only a group of girls. celebrating anny's birthday saturday night was interesting to observe and partake in. keep in mind that all us girls are in relationships and in one case, engaged. anny was and is the only one who is still single and so it's no surprise that our boyfriends and fiances had to stay at home while we centered our love and attention around our birthday bachelorette.

by the end of the night, the girls were growing tired, whereas anny had just begun her partying. it was funny to watch and it was also a great night full of jazz, laughs, and reminiscing of older days.

doing absolutely nothing yesterday only stood as a reminder of how old i'm getting. i just needed a day to recover from a night of being out with friends. i didn't even have a hangover, i was just.... pooped. so what i did was watch movies in my pajamas all day. i finally got around to watching "Eat, Pray, Love" and get this - one of the characters is an Italian man who turns and accuses the main character, "Americans. you work too hard, you get burned out. you come home and spend the whole weekend in your pajamas in front of the T.V. but you don't know pleasure." i thought about it for a minute because here i was doing just that: in front of the T.V., in my pajamas. then i turned and looked out my window and saw the california sunset work miracles on the sky - the sight of it gave me pleasure. then i turned and saw z on the couch next to me and a snoring emi nestled between us and took pleasure being in their company. i felt the pleasure of the simplicity and beauty of what was around me, even if i was in my pajamas, in front of a T.V. pleasure, amongst many other things, is what you define it and i was able to define what it is to me.

i hope you were all able to define what it means to you over the weekend. xoxx

birthday shouts.

meet my quirky beautiful friend, anny, or as i call her, bananny. today is her birthday!

having mutual friend and acquaintances only meant it would be a matter of time before this chick and i became buds. she's simply one of a kind and the type of person you can't live without. we've shared laughs, drinks, stories, and most importantly - our hearts. i'm drawn by her energy and feel so blessed to call her my friend.

happy birthday, babe. can't wait to see your pretty smile tonight!

au revoir 2010.

it's hard to believe that another year has come and gone. just like that, christmas decorations are slowly making their way back to collecting dust in the garage and reality creeps back in full force. i feel that 2010 was the beginning of a self journey. i traveled alone to boston where i reunited with an old high school friend. i flew to seattle and met a sister who i never knew i had until nearly a year ago. i discovered my true calling and changed my major (hopefully for the last time). i've proven to myself that i can overcome challenges. i've added pieces to my life puzzle, discovered new pieces needed finding, and mended the broken pieces that needed mending. i believe 2010 was meant for me and to learning who i truly am and what kind of woman i'm shaping up to be. with age, i'm learning to look at the bigger scheme of things. i close the year with a bigger heart, more blessings, old and new friends, and knowing a little more about me.

i close 2010 by taking a leap of faith into 2011.

happy new year, xoxoxxx.

the countdown.

z and i are hosting a new years party tomorrow night. i really enjoy opening my home to the people we love and smothering them with hospitality. i think i get this from my mom, who always went all out when people came over. i once realized that she even played hostess when she was supposed to be a guest. anyhow, i came across this great idea of countdown goodie bags online and decided to make my own rendition of it. in every bag, i included a little bottle of liquor, a blowout, a new year mardi gras necklace, a pair of funny 2011 paper glasses, and a written note thanking our guests for coming and to please, please drive safe. i'm so excited to give these out! i showed z the final result and asked with a huge smile, "aren't these so cute?!", to which he responded, "yes.. yes, honey, they're cute". hehe

here's what they look like in the bag:

i hope you all are able to ring in the new year with the people and things you love the most. it's the only way, if you ask me. xoxoxo

birthday shouts.

cheers all around because today marks the birthday of my beautiful friend of 10 years, susan! we celebrated this past saturday at the much talked about seafood restaurant, The Boiling Crab. between her, z and i we finished 2 lbs of shrimp, a cup of gumbo, a basket of sweet potato fries, a basket of fried shrimp, and a basket of cajun fries. oink.

can i just say how wonderful it has been to be a part of this decade-long friendship? she has turned into such an inspiring, hard-working, amazing woman and it is truly a blessing to have been able to commemorate yet another passing year.

may all the stars shine on your head, may all your angels guide you, and may all the love your heart can handle remind you just how lucky we all are that God gave you to us on this day. heart.

meet marianne.

allow me to introduce the world to this wonderful woman who took me all around Boston and showed me a great time.

i met marianne (she goes by "Mar" now) in high school - she was the senior class president and i was the senior class secretary. it's hard to believe that we kept in touch after all these years because we weren't exactly the best of friends, that's not to say that we weren't friends, because we were, but not the kind of friends that hung out outside of school. so, you can imagine some of the reactions we received, from mutual high school acquaintances, when they learned i'd be flying 3,000 miles across the country to visit her. i have to admit that it was somewhat of a spontaneous decision but she extended a welcoming invitation and sensing her sincerity, i accepted. why not?

we had met every once in a while when she visited cali (and by every once in a while, i mean every once in two years!) and she would surprise me with a phone call here and there. she served in AmeriCorps for a couple of years and called me once when she was helping out in New Orleans for the Hurricane Katrina relief. i couldn't help be in awe of her as she told me where had been and what she had been doing. i admired her so much for doing something different and imprinting her mark in the world. (seriously, how brave is she??)

needless to say i was excited to see her. more than that, i was happy to be a part of her world in those 2 days because even if i couldn't be as brave as her, i could be in the presence of such courage.. and that alone did more for me than i could've known.

beautiful boston.

Boston was more beautiful than i could have imagined. my friend marianne, bless her heart, tried squeezing in as much Boston as possible in me in the 2 days i was there. i thought she was pretty successful.

a few funny and interesting observations:

• many of the restrooms don't have toilet seat covers or paper towels (only hand dryers). mar explained that it is in an effort to "be green".
• there is a church on almost every corner.
• alcohol is not sold in supermarkets, only liquor stores.
• you must be over age 25 to purchase alcohol (though you can still drink it at age 21 in restaurants/bars)
• there are only one-way streets
• one street can have up to 5 names (it changes every few blocks)
• dunkin donuts is EVERYWHERE
• there aren't any chains there - all restaurants and stores are original
  

i love that Boston has so much history - you can see it in every building. mar doesn't have a car so like many Bostonians, we relied heavily on the public transportation and our feet (i have the blisters to prove it!) we did a lot of walking, a lot of talking, and a lot of laughing. i had an amazing time and am looking forward to my next visit there :)

“No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.” – Lin Yutang

exhausted. exhilarated. amazed. intrigued. grateful. inspired. thoughtful. loved. tired. happy. accomplished. imbued. overwhelmed. humbled. reflective. absorbed. drained. changed.

five planes, five airports, and 2 states later... i am home.

[will update soon with a fresher and clearer head. and more pictures.]

something familiar.

korean food runs through my veins. if i don't have a dose of it every once in a while, i begin having withdrawals and it's not pretty.

last week i had a major craving for samgyupsal, which are slices of pork belly. there are many ways of eating this dish, but i like to have mine dipped in sesame oil with salt and pepper or ssamjang (a korean chili paste), then wrapped in a thin rice paper, or piece of lettuce accompanied by grilled kimchi and mushrooms. it is ultimate bliss.

since z isn't too fond of this cut of meat, i thought i'd take advantage of his absence by treating myself on friday night. jess and paul were kind enough to join me in what turned out to be a korean bbq fest. jess's mom is the kitchen manager so we were spoiled in true korean fashion - i think we had 4 people waiting and fussing over us and i nearly choked on a piece of meat when they brought out the nengmyun (cold noodle dish).. so much food! i had the biggest smile of satisfaction on my face when it was all over. it was nice to have something familiar and comforting.

(as you can tell by that last pic - i am a very messy eater)