one down.

what a joyous occasion. i still can't believe that my good friends are now a married couple. i couldn't have seen this day just a year ago and now here we are. i'm starting to slowly accept what all this means: we're getting older.

i embrace the many more milestones that comes with age. cheers.

in with the new.

most of our weekend went towards building this bedframe and the nightstands. before we decided to get this, we were sleeping on a mattress atop of box springs. that mattress had been in z's life well before i came along and even though it had some obvious lumps and bruises from years of tossing and turning, i liked it because it reminded me of our early days together. before z and i officially became a couple, we were good friends. i'd often spend the night at his place because i didn't like where i was living at the time and because the nights usually ended only a few hours short of the sunrise and i was too exhausted to drive home. i remember laying on his bed for the first time and it was the first mattress that hugged me in its arms. it was the most comfortable bed i had ever laid on! and because z was always the gentleman, he would let me sleep on his queen bed while he settled on the air mattress. i had never known sleep the way i had on that bed in those days, it almost became an addiction because outside of that bed and away from z, i was an insomniac sleeping on a thin twin size mattress on the floor.

i guess the time had come for a new mattress, although i'll admit that if it were up to me, we'd probably have the same mattress for years to come. i was raised to buy something new only when what i had was worn and torn, and i mean really worn and torn, to the point of being practically ruined. if i were living at home and told my mom that it was time for a new mattress, she'd want to know what was wrong with the one i already had. i'd have to build a case for it and plant evidence like ripping holes in the fabric. z, on the other hand, will get something new simply because he can. it doesn't have to shrink, have holes, or be in ruins - if there's something better, he'll get it.

this probably explains why he came walking into our apartment last week carrying a brand new tempurpedic mattress from costco. and of course we couldn't just settle for the box springs we had, we had to get a new frame, new slats, new nightstands, and new bedside lamps. it's actually kind of nice and i can definitely tell the difference in my lower back. z has made it a point to come home and go straight to the room to lie on the bed for a few minutes. as for me, it's nice to wake up and see that i'm surrounded by something new. the bedroom is the best room in the apartment - it's set in the back, isolated from the noise of our neighbors, it gets the best light when the sun rises and sets, and the big tree by the window keeps it cool enough to be happily tucked away in blankets. the new look surely has me wanting to stay in bed longer than i should....

this is just another small change that i'm enjoying.

xxx.

seeking quietude..

i really struggled with my new years resolution this past weekend. i left work half an hour early on friday and was caught by my boss. i won't get into the details of how i was caught, but it really did put a damper on my weekend. i kept playing monday's confrontation in my head. it didn't help that z was out of town on business so i was left alone with my dreadful thoughts. there were times when i was able to push it out of my head, but it managed to creep through the crevices.

z gave me some great advice before he left: "just come to terms with it in your head and let it go." i tried and tried real hard to do this and even felt i was successful at certain points. for instance, i didn't lose sleep over it, which is a great feat because the minutes before bedtime is usually when my thoughts begin to overwhelm me. but there were moments when i caught myself picturing the disappointment on my boss's face, or even worst - getting fired. it was so stressful that i broke out. the feeling reminded me of when i used to get caught doing something wrong by my mom.

mind over matter. what a concept. the mind has so much power over the body that if it isn't controlled properly, it can do a lot of damage. i grew so frustrated with myself and my thoughts only to realize that i was fueling the fire. i kept myself busy by running errands, going to the gym, and trying out new recipes, and while it provided a temporary escape, i still had to face myself at the end of the day.

i'm finding that i need to really find that quiet corner in my head that i can go to when needed. have any of you tried meditation? i'm thinking of trying it because i need to dig deep. i mean real deep - in my head, my heart, my soul, myself. to be honest, it's something i should have done a long time ago.

xo.

the walk, the birthday, and the exhaustion.

the first picture was taken during the hike last weekend. i forgot i had taken pictures! and unfortunately we didn't make the hiking trip yesterday, which was somewhat of a relief because we had such a long day on saturday. the walk for MS had us up at 6am and out the door by 7. it turned out to be a great event! z and i were both a little surprised to see how many people brought their dogs. as you can imagine, emi was overly excited and we had to restrain her from running all over the place while at the same time looking enviously at the other people with calm and obedient dogs. on the other hand, emi is really mild mannered when it comes to confrontations - she never barks and just looks on in confusion when being barked at so at least we had that going for us.

she met another bully friend (pictured above) named Diesel. he had the biggest crush on emi and kept wanting to be next to her. she also met a pig named Hamlet (also pictured above) - how unusual and funny is it to find a pig at a Walk? needless to say, he received a lot of attention with people constantly wanting to take pictures with or of him and because emi was close by, she also received lots of attention.

we walked about 2 miles around the UC Irvine campus, which was a bonus for me because i'll be transferring there next year. i was impressed with the architecture of the buildings and the size of the campus. it made me even more excited about transferring. it also made me think about the future and what it has in store for me. i always go into a daze when i think about what's to come, so to actually be on the campus that i'll be frequenting in a couple of years put me deep into thought. i won't go into detail because it's too complicated and too personal to put into words, but let's just say that i believe i was meant to do that walk on saturday morning and i'm glad i did.

when we finally made it home, we crashed. all 3 of us took a long nap and it was emi who woke up first, begging to be let out because of all the water she consumed. it's a good thing she pestered us because we could have slept well into the night and that couldn't happen because we had a surprise birthday dinner to attend. if you haven't already guessed it, the last picture is of the birthday boy who will be turning 28 tomorrow. dennis has been a long time friend of ours and it was our great pleasure to see the look of defeat on his face when he saw what his girlfriend had been planning. it was a great celebration that turned into a roast since everyone just made fun of him the whole night (and actually, they always do), but it just goes to show what a great sense of humor he has and what a great friend he is.

as is always the case, the weekend was way too short but i guess that just means i had a great one. hope you did too.

xxxxxo.

walking for a cause.

happy friday, guys.

just wanted you all to know that we'll be walking for Multiple Sclerosis in Irvine tomorrow. a friend of ours is suffering from this disease and unfortunately there is no cure for it. for those who aren't aware of what it is, here is a little something from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov:

"MS is caused by damage to the myelin sheath, the protective covering that surrounds nerve cells. When this nerve covering is damaged, nerve impulses are slowed down or stopped.

The nerve damage is caused by inflammation. Inflammation occurs when the body's own immune cells attack the nervous system. Repeated episodes of inflammation can occur along any area of the brain, optic nerve, and spinal cord."

it breaks my heart knowing what she is going through, but she makes it easier by being brave and positive. it's people like her who truly humble me and make me appreciate life. it might be too late to sponsor us, but you can always make a donation by visiting the National MS Society (our team name is "I'm still standing" if you want to contribute a gift on her behalf). also, this walk is only one of many (she's actually going to be doing the walk in Carlsbad on May 1st) so feel free to register!

also in the loop for this weekend is a friend's surprise birthday tomorrow night and a possible hiking trip on sunday. in other words, it's going to be a busy one but i'm looking forward to it.

wishing you all one just as great!

xxxx.

a serene state of mind.

one of the many highlights of my weekend were these babies. i went all out and ordered 2 earl greys, 2 cappuccinos, 2 caramels, 2 chocolates, and 2 coconuts (for z, cus i hate coconut-anything). interestingly enough, the earl greys tasted like fruity pebbles and brought back childhood memories. my favorite, though, had to be the chocolate - you just can't get between a girl and her chocolate.

we actually had a lot of good food this past weekend: flamed grilled chicken with stuffed poblano peppers, honey marinated chicken kabobs, good ol' pizza and wings, and of course frequent stops to yogurtland for dessert. my only regret is not having pictures to show you guys (but you can see the kabobs from a previous post here). we tried to balance out all the food intake by joining friends for a hike yesterday at Peter's Canyon. it was such a beautiful day for a hike and the view from up top was pretty amazing. i've been wanting to go hiking for about a year now, so i'm happy that z liked it enough to try and do it more often. if all goes well, expect more posts and pictures of trails and nature!

now the clocks get set back to the 9-5 grind. i have a test in both classes this week so it's going to be a tough one.. but you know what? i'm feeling kind of good. i don't know if it's because of the great weekend i just had, or if the universe is just smiling on me today but something in me says that nothing can stand in the way of me and my sense of serenity and it's a great feeling to have.

how's your state of mind this monday?

xoxox.

pure joy.

looking forward to them this weekend.

hope yours is filled with the little things that bring a smile to your face.

xx.

birthday shouts.

it's my little sister's sweet 16 today and i never thought i'd see the day!

i took her to cheesecake factory to celebrate on saturday. i almost slapped somebody because of the disastrous customer service. amanda had to calm things down by explaining the situation to the hostess and manager while i stood there fuming and giving them dirty looks. it's kind of funny now that i think of it, but i was so impressed with amanda's maturity and her ability to diffuse the situation. it was at that moment i realized what a wonderful person she's growing up to be (and what a horrible role model i am, haha).

after dinner we walked around Anaheim Gardenwalk and enjoyed the art on the walls. we talked, we laughed, and i was reminded how lucky i am to watch her walk the path that has been made especially for her. it's funny because just the night before i had a dream about her as a baby. her cute little chubby cheeks and big eyes were so vivid that i could feel her baby face on my fingertips. in my dream she was the toddler i remember following me around and copying my every move. her big dark eyes looked up at me and i could feel her vulnerability... then the dream ended.

i can't explain how it feels to watch my sisters grow up - it's different from watching my friends grow older around me. when i think of their rapid growth my heart swells with pride, my eyes swell with tears, and my soul quietly sings a song of thanks to God for creating them. i pray that He will protect them when i can't and give them a happiness that only they can know. and today, i pray that my little sister will have the greatest 16th year of her precious life because she deserves all that and more.

xo.

spring came with rain.

the rain has made its way back to us; emi didn't even go potty last night. we tried waiting until the rain died down but it never did, so emi just stood out there getting drenched until z got the point. i hear the rain is staying with us for the rest of the week, spring is definitely making its arrival known and i guess this means i shouldn't pack away my winter/fall wardrobe just yet.

the weekend was pretty uneventful. we made it a point to avoid the rain and crazy drivers by enjoying the gloom behind closed doors. we snuck in a cat nap saturday afternoon and cuddled in most of sunday. we watched movies, ate good food, drank a few margaritas, and stayed tucked under warm blankets. i know emi is especially happy when we stay in like that. i caught up on some school work but i'm still mentally unprepared to go back to school this week. i still can't believe i'm already mid-way through the semester, i'm usually under a lot of pressure and freaking out over midterms by this time, but i'm sure it's lurking around the corner somewhere, just waiting to knock me off my feet. what's that saying again? hope for the best, but expect the worse? yeah.

hope you all enjoyed your weekend.

xo

springing forward.

our weekend started with a morning bike ride along the coast on saturday. i was a little worried on the way there because the weather was gloomy and gray, but by the time we arrived and pulled our bikes out of the car, the skies had cleared and though the sun started to peek its rays through the thin clouds that still lingered, there was a crisp ocean breeze that kept us cool. it felt amazing riding down PCH - the wind hitting my smiling face and the salty scent of the sea beside me replenished my soul.

i kept the energy up by doing some spring cleaning yesterday. i have to admit that i really hate cleaning, but i can't stand a dirty space. when i lived with my parents, my mom cleaned every single day and would scold me for not doing the same. when z and i first moved in together, we shared a bathroom that he took on the responsibility of cleaning. through him, i could hear my mom's scolding as he complained about my hair being everywhere and my messy bathroom manners. when we moved into our then-new apartment 3 years ago, we were both excited to have our own bathrooms - he was excited to not have to deal with all my "girl stuff" and i was excited to not have to hear him complaining all the time. thus, when it came time to finally clean my bathroom yesterday, there was no doubt that it had been neglected for several months (maybe even a year.... yes, I KNOW). i got down on my hands and knees and went to work. my bathroom was practically unrecognizable once i was done with her. i even feel cleaner being in there.

after the bathroom, i moved on to bedroom, and then our patio. would you believe we had 11 large trash bags of recyclables just sitting there, taking up almost the entire patio? that's right, 11. consequently we had dirt and water accumulating under the bags and not to mention a bunch of tree leaves and branches as we are a major target of the santa anas and are surrounded by big trees. since z was out washing his car, it was up to me to take all the bags down to the recycling bins. it took me 4 trips and the whole time i kept swearing that i would never let it get this bad again but we all know how that goes... heh.

once the patio was swept clean, we took emi out to play. i wish you could all be there when we finally reach the park because it's so funny. she can hardly contain herself from all the excitement. once we let her off the leash, she's gone. the way she runs from us would make you think that she was being freed from prison. we played fetch for about half an hour, which was more than enough for emi who couldn't even breathe normally after the first 15 minutes.

we finished the weekend with beers and a classic sunday barbeque. it was nice to use the patio again because even though neither of us said it, the mess out there made it an avoidable area (who wants to be surrounded by a bunch of garbage bags?). so, it was a great way to unwind from a productive weekend and prepare ourselves for the week ahead. to top it off, i'm on spring break this week! no school after work and the extra hour of daylight in the evening means more time outdoors to welcome Spring.

looking forward to it all.

xoxox

birthday shouts.

i have a busy weekend ahead of me. z's dad is arriving tonight and will be staying with us until tomorrow, then we'll be joining him in carlsbad where z's brother and sister-in-law lives. in addition, i have some school work to do and a birthday to celebrate.. and whose birthday is it, you might ask? it's my baby sister's =)

her birthday is tomorrow and she's turning 14. i wrote in her birthday card last night, "i don't think you will know what it's like to watch someone grow from a baby in your arms to a teenager...." and i am so, so, so fortunate to bear witness of her transformation. 14.... 14. i constantly have to turn those numbers around in my head because i can't believe it. something in me keeps saying that i'm out of my mind and that she's actually turning 10. not 14. in my eyes, she's still the baby i used to sing to. she's still the little girl who needed me when she was scared, cried, and felt unsafe. it feels like just yesterday i used to feed her little spoonfuls of rice. but alas, those days are behind us and instead there is a young lady who is finding her own place in this uncertain world and although her smile and laugh will always remind me of the baby she once was, i am so joyful and blessed to watch her grow into an amazing lady.

happy birthday baby sis, i'm excited for what's ahead of you.

xoxo

"the key to change.. is to let go of fear."

after the long big bear weekend, all i wanted to do this past weekend was relax. i didn't want to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. surprisingly, i didn't have a lot of school work to catch up on so my wish for a do-nothing weekend was granted. z cooked breakfast saturday morning and we spent the rest of the day being lazy. a couple of friends joined us later in the evening to watch the fights but it still proved to be a worry-free day, especially since we ordered out and i didn't have to cook.

after running errands on sunday, we decided to take emi on a nice long walk - she had been dropping hints all weekend. the walk felt good, it was nice to clear my head and have a genuine, uninterrupted conversation with z. not to mention it was the perfect day - clear and sunny with a slight chill in the air and you could see the snow-capped saddleback mountains.

our lease is up in july and we're leaning towards moving. after being here for 3 years, the complex isn't what it used to be and we really want to settle in an area where we can begin our future. ideally we would love to buy some property and do away with renting, but it doesn't seem like something we can commit to right now (financially and emotionally). z mentioned a rent-to-buy option, but i'm not too familiar with the details that surround it, have any of you tried it? all i know is that our walk yesterday made me appreciate the area we're in now. a real estate broker once told me that of all the places he's lived, the best place to live is in orange county and that the best place to live in orange county is south orange county. i can see why.

the next few years will definitely be challenging and will prove to be one of the biggest turning points in my life. i'll be forced to make some serious decisions about school, work, housing, and myself. remember that new years resolution i made about letting go of the things i can't control? it's been tough, but i've been practicing it a lot. hopefully by the time all these changes consume me, i'll be a pro and instead of being overwhelmed, i'll be able to surrender myself to it. easier said than done? you bet'cha.

xoxo

bday finale.

i am back from my winter wonderland of a birthday - 3 nights and 2.5 days of snow. the beauty!

the trip mostly consisted of snowboarding, eating, and sleeping - a schedule that i wasn't too crazy about but dealt with for the sake of enjoying the snow. if i may, can i insert a thing or two about snowboarding? i knew snowboarding would be weary on my body but had no idea the toll it would take. it didn't help that the people who joined me on the trip live and breathe the sport and thus, scheduled their days accordingly. however, for someone who hasn't the knack or the heart for it - it became incredibly frustrating. i took 3 lessons in total, the first of which z and i took together. as z advanced, i grew more irritated and impatient. z eventually asked in his own frustration, "so you're just going to give up??" i wanted to scream that this was not my idea of a great time and that i hadn't envisioned my trip up to the snowy mountains to be so demanding and that.. hello? i wasn't trying to be a professional snowboarder! i had intended on it being fun and enjoyable. as the days went on, i discovered people all around me who shared the same sentiment: frustrated parents scolding their crying children and boyfriends yelling at their annoyed girlfriends. eventually i was able to find the humor in it all.

the second day wasn't as bad as the first in that i left my group of friends after the lesson to do what i had gone to big bear to do: enjoy the snow the way i wanted to. i went up the lift a few times and eventually big snowflakes fell from the sky. i forgot to mention that when it started snowing the first day i was very excited and shared my excitement with my equally excited instructor. the second day it snowed, i was by myself so when i fell on my ass for the umpteenth time, i just laid there and caught those big snowflakes with my tongue. i wasn't pressured to get back up and i didn't have to worry about falling behind on my lesson. i just simply laid there and stared up at the sky and thought to myself: thank you God for this wonderful birthday gift. once, i turned to a person who fell beside me and with a big smile exclaimed, "it's snowing!" to which he responded with a neutral, "yeah" as he got up and made his way back down the slope.

i was hoping to explore other areas of big bear aside from the resort and the cabin but it never happened. we woke up early, went to the resorts, then came back to the cabin to sleep. i would have even liked to have spent more time at the cabin, snuggled up by the fireplace with hot cocoa and a good book. even though i managed to build my snowman on the last day, it was rushed and on our way out. wouldn't it have been a wonder to build many snowmen and make a thousand of snow angels and go sledding down a big white hill? these are all things i'll definitely have to make sure i do next time. in the meanwhile, my body is in serious need of healing and rest because it isn't 26 anymore.

happy birthday to me.

xoxox

pt. 3

i had been meaning to visit the huntington library but never could find the time to make the 1.5 trip there. z had never gone and so i thought nothing would be grander than spending my birthday there and i was so right. the weather was warm, the flowers were in full bloom, and the beautiful colors vibrated as to wish me a happy birthday.

i invited my friend jess and her boyfriend, paul and they arrived bearing gifts! i am so in love with the owl "quirkeys" key covers and as jess pointed out, i can hand them out to my friends as well! she also gave me a super cute owl oven mit - i'm figuring at this rate, my owl collection will be complete in no time.

we ended the night in old town pasadena enjoying good food and drinks. my birthday isn't until tomorrow but the birthday love has been all around me. i love it.

xo.

and so it begins.

wanna know what i did over the weekend?

i was spoiled to my core! z sent me off to get my hair done saturday morning and then i spent a wonderful evening with my korean beauties. together we relived our past, had drinks, and munched on delicious food. i smiled the whole way back from our rendezvous because i was reminded how blessed i am to have such great friends in my life. it was an intimate and beautiful way to start off my 27th year - i wouldn't have had it any other way.

thank you ladies,

xoxox

this...

pretty much sums up our weekend.

how was yours?

x

owl love you.

i don't know what triggered it but 3 or 4 months ago, i became absolutely obsessed with owls. between those big, mysterious unblinking eyes and their beautiful bellowing hoots, how could i not fall in love with them? so far i've bought a pretty owl necklace and 2 owl rings. etsy is a great place to find unique owl stuff. i hope to have a grand collection by the end of this year :)

in other news, it's friday! i went to the DMV earlier to renew my license... thank heavens i made an appointment because the line wrapped around the building. you should have seen the looks i was getting as i walked pass the line and up to the counter. i was scared that someone was going to jump me (it was that serious). even though i was in and out in record time, i wasn't too happy that they made me retake my picture. i'm not having the greatest of hair days and i'm wearing a flannel - hello? casual friday? regardless, it's one less thing to have to worry about.

wishing you guys a great, worry-free weekend. xo

p.s. if you haven't noticed, i gave the page a facelift. what do you think?

p.p.s. does anyone know how to remove the borders around pictures? (nevermind, i figured it out!)

a pleasurable weekend.

it's been a while since i've been out with only a group of girls. celebrating anny's birthday saturday night was interesting to observe and partake in. keep in mind that all us girls are in relationships and in one case, engaged. anny was and is the only one who is still single and so it's no surprise that our boyfriends and fiances had to stay at home while we centered our love and attention around our birthday bachelorette.

by the end of the night, the girls were growing tired, whereas anny had just begun her partying. it was funny to watch and it was also a great night full of jazz, laughs, and reminiscing of older days.

doing absolutely nothing yesterday only stood as a reminder of how old i'm getting. i just needed a day to recover from a night of being out with friends. i didn't even have a hangover, i was just.... pooped. so what i did was watch movies in my pajamas all day. i finally got around to watching "Eat, Pray, Love" and get this - one of the characters is an Italian man who turns and accuses the main character, "Americans. you work too hard, you get burned out. you come home and spend the whole weekend in your pajamas in front of the T.V. but you don't know pleasure." i thought about it for a minute because here i was doing just that: in front of the T.V., in my pajamas. then i turned and looked out my window and saw the california sunset work miracles on the sky - the sight of it gave me pleasure. then i turned and saw z on the couch next to me and a snoring emi nestled between us and took pleasure being in their company. i felt the pleasure of the simplicity and beauty of what was around me, even if i was in my pajamas, in front of a T.V. pleasure, amongst many other things, is what you define it and i was able to define what it is to me.

i hope you were all able to define what it means to you over the weekend. xoxx

getting over a lot more than this flu.

remember that flu i was fighting last week? well, it has passed on to z, which meant that the weekend mostly consisted of me recovering from mine and z dealing with his. even so, there's something endearing about being under soft blankets and blowing our noses together. that's not to say that we had a bad weekend because somewhere between all coughing up mucus and pumping ourselves with medicine, we managed to take a drive down the coast on saturday and catch a movie yesterday.

it took my manager until 3pm on Friday to finally announce that our office will be closed today. i couldn't have asked for a better day off - the weather has been gorgeous the past few days. we're talking mid 70's to low 80's! with plans for big bear next month, i have to admit i was a little sour about the warming temperatures but i stopped to remind myself of my new years resolution. i can't control the weather, so enjoy it... and that i did. i took emi out to the park for a good game of fetch and there's no denying that she is grateful for the sun's visit.

today i am committing some time to school work. the first week back wasn't too bad, although i can already tell you that my stats class is going to be the death of me. even the word 'statistics' makes me want to yawn. it's going to take some time getting back into the groove of weekend study sessions and writing papers, but i'm relieved to know that it's going to be a much easier semester than last. much easier.

i hope you all enjoyed a great weekend. with southern california skies looking the way it has in the pictures above - how could you not? :)

xxxo.

for christmas, i...

- watched 234987234 movies.

- ate. a lot.

- received amazing gifts.

- laughed. a lot.

and...

... saw all my sisters.

xxoxo, hope you all enjoyed one just as wonderful.